5 Things Pinay Millenials Are Tired Of Hearing
Were you born between the years 1981 and 1997?
Does your family gathering (birthday, graduation, Christmas, and New Year, among others) always end with a hearty round of karaoke, complete with your drunk tito‘s rendition of “Faithfully” or your practiced version of “Without You” by Mariah Carey?
Do you have a sibling or a cousin whose nickname repeats itself, like, Yanyan, Mae-Mae, Jon-Jon – or better yet, named “Boy”?
Well, then, you must be a Pinay millenial.
After all, you clicked on this article, didn’t you? 🙂
I know why you’re here.
You’re tired of the society’s usual script that forces you to live a life that you don’t even love.
Here are five of them that you may be familiar with:
1. “Maganda ka sana, kaso…”
This statement is a double-edged sword: you receive a nice compliment in the beginning, and then once you start feeling good about yourself, it manages to sneak in a subtle observation of your not-so-perfect body, so you end up feeling sad, offended, hurt, or all of the above.
Kaso, your arms are too flabby.
Kaso, your teeth are crooked.
Kaso, your eyes are too close together.
Stop. Beauty is not about how symmetrical your facial features are or how spankin’ hot your body is.
Beauty is the new mother with stretch marks because she’s a fearsome tiger who simply earned her stripes.
Beauty is the generous aunt who has prominent laugh lines because she’s a joyful and kind soul who always manages to find the good in every one.
Beauty is the anak with the deep eye bags and puffy eyes because she committed to working overtime for one week just so she could manage to pay for her little brother’s college tuition.
Love your imperfections.
There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in!
You. Are. Darn. Fabulous!
Never let other people dictate your worth.
2. “Bigger is better!”
We hear this all the time from media:
“Get a loan. Buy a house. No, not just a small house, buy a bigger house. You deserve it!”
“Do you want to solve all your problems and attract the love of your life? Get this shiny and fast car!”
“Wait, you’re getting married in an intimate celebration with the closest of your family and friends only? What’s wrong with you? You need this P50,000-wedding gown. You need to have at least 100 people. You need a big wedding!”
If you’re tired of hearing these deluded phrases, I’m here to tell you that simpler is better.
◙ Buying a bigger house may impress people you know. But, think about how that’s going to be for you – the person who’s actually going to pay for it and live in it.
Are you okay with staying in a job you’re not in love with, just so you can pay for a house you’re not going spend a lot of time in, because you’re busy at your job?
◙ Of course you can buy a car if you need it! But, do you really need an expensive car, or will you be perfectly happy with a nice car that’s actually within your financial capabilities?
“A car is a metal box on wheels that won’t impress anyone 2 years from now, but you’ll still be paying P20,000 a month with insurance + maintenance on it for many more years to come. Yay cars!”
Buy a car that fits your financial goals and budget.
◙ If you want a happy marriage, have a cheap wedding.
Your guests won’t remember the little things. They’re happy if they got to witness the wedding, see the couple and had something to eat and drink. Centerpieces, matching everything, and butterfly/dove/phoenix releases don’t matter.
After all, you wouldn’t want to start your “happily-ever-after” with a mountain of debt, do you?
3. “Galing mo na magluto. Pwede ka na mag-asawa.”
Here are three truths in the world. Ready?
– Some Pinays would like to get married someday. That’s okay.
– Some Pinays wouldn’t like to get married someday. That’s okay too.
– And if you do dream of getting married in the future, it’ll be because it’s what you and your partner want and it’s what you decided to do. It’s what you’re preparing for. Being married isn’t just about your ability to cook kare-kare, sinigang or menudo.
4. “Tumaba ka!”
See #1. 🙂
Listen to what my imaginary friend Solenn says about this “greeting”:
“I’ve been a victim—no, a survivor—of body shaming. And after years of feeling annoyed, frustrated, and trying every diet available in the market to conform to people’s opinions of me, I said to myself, “F**k this. Why am I so hurt and affected by what others think?” Especially when the people who tell me I’m fat don’t know anything about what I’m going through and don’t even know the first thing about health.”
Hey, as long as you’re taking everything in balance and you manage to be active (walking, running, swimming, lifting weights, etc), it’s okay.
We all have different body types. And that’s beautiful!
You’re not born to be like anybody else.
You’re born to be you.
5. “Ah, that’s what you do?”
You hear this after telling them what you’re passionate about doing in your life.
“So, tell me, what do you do?”
– “Oh, I’m a work-at-home mom.”
– “I’m a housewife so I’m busy taking care of our children.”
– “I’m self-employed. I work on my own terms and on my own time. I also take care of my parents since I want to spend more time with them.”
– “I’m a self-published book author.” 🙂
– “Oh no, I removed myself from managerial consideration. It’s not something I’m in love with.”
This statement is usually said with matching raised eyebrows, pursed lips, and a judgmental hint in their eyes.
You can’t pass their self-imposed test if you’re not achieving any awards, or you’re not taking any glorified business trips.
It’s like you can’t possibly be happy unless you’re overworking yourself to death!
You’re a failure if you’re not in a managerial/supervisory position.
Ladies, there’s absolutely no benefit to you, if you want to be a people-pleaser.
Live the life you love,